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The mirror of conscience

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I've always had a problem with my thoughts and emotions. I identified with them, as 99% of us do, and that brought a lot of worries, frustration, desires and fears. It was practically my whole life. Through time I learned that what they said was wrong and then I learned to fight with them, which wasn't much fun either, but in general it meant an improvement.

Now I believe I'm doing the next step: not fighting...

In theory we always understand what others are saying, but in practice we can't be sure we understand until we totally feel the message. I heard people say many times "you are not your thoughts, they are your friends". Officially I understood it, but in real life I would fight with them anyway: always demanding that they be positive, always fearing them and at the same time asking them to come with all the answers. This fight was true identification with thought and emotion ... and the manifestation of my ego.

Then I took a step back, not asking so much from my brain, and that allowed for more inner space to appear. Thoughts come and go, some you use and most you don't. The less demands I make to my thoughts, the less irrelevant ones it throws at me and the less problematic I feel when "wrong" ones come along. If you don't expect anything from your brain, it can't let you down.

Slowly I'm realizing now that my thoughts are not my enemies, nor that my emotions are destroying me. They are in fact a mirror of my conscience. My state of awareness is reflected in the quality of my thinking and my fear/love equation. When I and more in the here and now the irrelevant and fearful thoughts may come, but I only look and that's it. My brain simply registers that the thought isn't relevant and it doesn't show me another "bad" one. Suddenly it serves me, helping me with realizing practical things in this beautiful world ... as long as I am aware of what is true, as long as I don't demand and choose for love and trust instead of acting out of fear.

posted by Luca Merlini on 9/24/2008 3:16 pm | COMMENTS (2)

Comments (2)

Hi Luca

Buddha has chosen one of the truly potential words- 'shunyata'. The English equivalent is, "Nothingness".

Actually , lets make it 'No-thingness' because the nothing is not just nothing. It is all. It is vibrant with all possibilities. Being in the state of gap can be disorienting but when we fall into this gap between thoughts, watch it btween the outgoing and incoming breath, then this nothingness becomes our meditation and thus becalms us.

You seem to have already found that awareness growing in you that once we start dropping thoughts, the dust that we have collected by the memories of past, projections of future is dispelled and we arise clean, clear, alive and young. Our whole life becomes a flame. A flame without any smoke.

That is what awareness is. To live in the No-thingness of thoughts.

Thanks for sharing .

Nazia

posted by Nazia Mallick on 9/25/2008 2:03 am

Aloha Luca, I found your writing very true and wanted to share with you that we have something very important in common. We are both Inner Activists. Here are my thoughts on this. I was reading an article about the new wave of activism that is occurring all around the world. People are taking action and making a difference and a contribution, each in their own unique way. I realized I felt quite excited reading the many varieties of activism available to each of us. I am an inner activist, I am a person who has dedicated her life to Self Awareness without Judgment. I have a deep knowing that to live to my full potential and make a meaningful contribution to humanity I need to shed the light of self awareness on my thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations. Through self awareness I will learn whether I am in a state of clarity about a relationship or subject, or whether I am caught in an emotional reaction that comes from my past. Self awareness will show me the specifics of the unconscious content that is causing me to behave in a way that guarantees my suffering and sense of alienation and victimhood. After seeing the truth, I have a choice whether to continue being controlled by the past, which is over, or choose to be present and take action based on reality of the now. Each of us has the opportunity to do this at any moment. A powerful way to do this is to check in and sense how you are breathing and if you are breathing, and how the state of your emotions and thoughts are impacting your body, right now. This will assist you in knowing whether or not you are present. We all have an impact on those around us. The question is, do we like the impact we are having, and how does it make us feel? It is only when we are present that we have the capacity to transform our lives and positively affect those around us. We need never feel frustrated and victimized by outer circumstances, once we begin to be an inner activist we will know that by developing our capacity to be present we are contributing to humanity. This happens naturally. As we develop self awareness we will simultaneously develop clarity, acting from this place will empower us and everyone we encounter. The time to act is NOW, the place to act from is wherever you are. There is no time to waste. We all need to be clear, fully empowered, and fully engaged, not only for ourselves, but for each other and all humanity. please go to my website www.lifemasteryskills.com

posted by rckula on 10/22/2008 7:54 pm